Wednesday, September 21, 2016

BEHIND THE COUCH: APPRECIATION

 I'd been facilitating and teaching small and large groups for many years. My intent was always to help people rediscover their authentic self before social and cultural expectations seeped in.  On one particular occasion, I stood before about 60 people,and "directed" and facilitated a 15 minute unrehearsed skit, with many of the audience members reading parts I had written for them without their knowledge.  Before handing out the written "parts," I received their permission for this, about to be, unknown event.  My role was moderator and "introducer."  

Within the first minute, laughter filled the room.  Genuine, sixty-person honest laughter.   I continued my role as moderator as others read their previously unseen words. 

For fifteen minutes, my words and my humor, read by others, created a room full of joy and uncontrolled laughter.  Several people were on the floor laughing and in tears.  When the last person spoke, people stood and wildly applauded for several minutes.   Genuine appreciaion.

 The appreciation was for me and what I had written.   The energy of applause directed in my direction, brought out the little boy in me, forcing me to step back behind a couch, crouch down to hide my embarrassment, and handle the acknowledgment.   I felt completely shy, embarrassed and vulnerable  .

Had my body been free to cry, I would have, easily.  I would have cried out of being seen, loved and knowing I had a wondrous impact on 60 people.  Another layer of self-judgment was released from  my body. I knew it. 

And, I knew it was OK for me to respond in an honest way. To be honestly shy.  I was feeling, beyond my learned beliefs, of what I should do in front of others.   I was free.  It was a conscious beginning.

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